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MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 1, Issue 15

MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 1, Issue 15

December 20, 2004
Document
Topic: 
MAXIMize the Moment Junior
Age Range: 
8-10

Story

I am almost finished writing Christmas cards to all my friends, but I can't decide what to do about Rachel. I know she's Jewish and doesn't celebrate Christmas. I ask my mom what holiday Jewish people celebrate. She tells me it's called Chanukah, so I cross off the word 'Christmas' on her card and I write 'Chanukah' instead.

The next day at school I can't wait to give out my cards. I hand out everyone's cards, including Rachel's.

As we go to leave at the end of day, I notice that Rachel left her card from me on her desk. I pick it up and run over to her. "Rachel, you forgot the card I gave you," I yell to her.

"No I didn't, Maya," she says. "Chanukah has been over for a week and a half now. Thanks for nothing."

I am completely hurt. Our teacher, Mr. Clemens, comes over to us.

"Maya, Rachel, I saw what happened. This looks like a case of misunderstanding. Rachel, I'm sure Maya didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I think she was trying to share her holiday without being disrespectful of yours. But, Maya, it seems like you did hurt Rachel's feelings because you assumed things about Rachel that aren't true. Chanukah and Christmas aren't the same, and we should celebrate their differences, what makes each holiday unique and special. Now I want you both to remember this: "good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.'" 

Maxim

  • "…Good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding."
    Albert Camus

Character points

  • Understanding - I work to see situations from others' points of view and to respect and appreciate differences.
  • Community - I recognize that I am part of a bigger whole; I respect and care about the needs of others.
  • Respect - I realize that I am a good and worthy person and that I should be treated with fairness and kindness.
  • Caring - I value the feelings of others and want them to be happy.

Homeroom Discussion Information

  • Does sticking up for yourself make you feel better about yourself?
  • Do you agree that sticking up for yourself is a good plan? Why?
  • What are some other ways that you can gain self-respect?
  • A lot of times, teasing is about putting others down. Many times people say that standing up yourself is about taking that power back. Do you think that's true? In what ways?
  • What could Tarek have done to help stop Brenda from making fun of Roger? How else could Tarek have shown his concern for Roger?
  • What do you think of Brenda? How is she influencing Roger's self-confidence?
  • Do you ever feel pressured to be different than you are? What helps you overcome it?
  • If Roger never decided to stick up for himself, would that mean it was OK for Brenda to keep teasing him? Why not?

Home-Use Information

Five tips for maxim-izing your family time

  • Use this time to talk about and celebrate your own family traditions. If you don't have a lot of traditions, discuss something you could make a regular part of your life together.
  • Make the conversation more meaningful by sharing anecdotes about dealing with discrimination or misunderstanding. Use personal stories if you have them and feel comfortable; these are likely to be the most meaningful of all.
  • Be an example to your kids. Tell them about lessons you've learned by meeting new people and experiencing different cultures and traditions.
  • Be honest with your kids about times that you have made assumptions about someone and the problems it caused.
  • Reiterate to your children that trying to help is a nice thing to do, but that helping should be coupled with understanding.

Discussion starters

  • Have you ever been in Rachel's position? If so, how did it feel? If not, try to imagine why she reacted in the way she did.
  • How can we, as a family, learn about other religions, cultures, etc. in a meaningful way?
  • What helps you to find the courage to try new things and to be open to new experiences?
  • Have you ever been so afraid that you weren't open to meeting new people or learning about a different culture? Did you regret that decision?
  • Do you think it is natural to be afraid of trying new things or opening yourself to new ideas? Why or why not?
  • Have you had better experiences understanding where people come from first-hand or through stories?
  • Do you know people of other religions or cultures? How are their beliefs similar to yours? How are they different?
  • What are some ways as a family that you can share your religion, culture, etc. with someone outside of the family in a positive way?

Be sure to acknowledge the courage your children show in talking with you about these issues.

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