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MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 1, Issue 22

MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 1, Issue 22

March 25, 2002
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MAXIMize the Moment Junior

Announcement

"Now it's time to MAXIMize the Moment!"

"Look, Jon. It's Coach. I never expected to see him at a concert on Saturday night. I figured he spent all his free time working out or prepping for the next game."

"In know what you mean, Dominic. But, that is him. Let's go say hi."

When we catch up with him, Coach is incoherent and clumsy. He's slurring his words because he's wasted.

Coach. Of all people. The man who preaches discipline and self-control above all else. When Zack got in a fight, Coach benched him for three games. The school was willing to go easier on Zack, but Coach wanted to let us know that he didn't tolerate that sort of behavior. He always says that "Strength and discipline win games-character makes champions."

Coach Jackson saved me from making bad choices-not only on the field. When I don't feel like studying or going to practice, I think about his words and I know that I have to be disciplined and do the right thing even if I don't want to.

And now Mr. In-control is stumbling around and slurring his words! I trusted him. I looked up to him. For the last three years, he's been like a father to me. But now I find out that Coach is a hypocrite!

At practice on Monday, I don't even want to look at Coach. I'm angry at him and embarrassed for him. I don't know how I'll make it to the end of the season. How am I supposed to listen to someone I have so little respect for?!

Then I remember today's Western Civ. class. Mr. Thomas talked about Gandhi and passive resistance. "Students," he said, "Think of how he was treated. He was tormented, bullied, and cursed. Yet all his life he maintained a spirit of peace. He even said that 'The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.' How many of us could live that message out under such extreme circumstances? Do we in our regular, everyday lives?"

Suddenly, I understand what I must do. I must work towards forgiving Coach Jackson. I don't have to respect him as much as I did, but I should try to forgive him. If I let anger be the final word, then weakness has won. Even though Coach didn't act in an honorable way, I can. It won't be easy, but I'm going to try.

This week's maxim is "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." 

Maxim

  • "The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
    Mahatma Gandhi

Character points

  • Forgiveness - I acknowledge and try to work through the faults and wrongdoings of others; I recognize that all people have imperfections, and am able to love them anyway.
  • Resilience - I am able to withstand times of trial; disappointments may upset me, but I am able to overcome and remain true to myself and my beliefs.
  • Mercy - I recognize that all people are imperfect; I try to help others overcome their faults, rather than condemning them.
  • Strength - I continue to do what I know to be right, even when it is extremely difficult.
  • Tranquility - I work to be a person of peace and resolve, even when I am surrounded by strife and chaos.

Homeroom Discussion Information

  • Does Jon have a right to be upset with Coach Jackson?
  • Was it wrong for the Coach to talk about discipline without being an entirely disciplined person himself?
  • How should Coach Jackson address the situation? What sort of explanation or apology does Jon have a right to expect?
  • What is a role model?
  • Do role models need to be perfect? What level of imperfection is allowed for someone to be a role model?
  • Should Coach Jackson still be considered a good role model?
  • Would your feelings about the story change if it had involved a teacher rather than a trusted coach?
  • What level of responsibility do you expect from your teachers?
  • What sorts of behaviors do you think are inappropriate for adults who serve as role models to teens?
  • How important is it to you that those who "talk the talk" also "walk the walk"?

Home-Use Information

Five tips for maxim-izing your family time

  • Offer an example of a time that you had to forgive someone. What made it difficult to do so? How did you feel when you were unable to forgive? How did you feel after you forgave that person?
  • Discuss impediments to forgiveness. Talk through these challenges and ways for dealing with them.
  • Explore how the inability to forgive affects relationships and how it affects the person who is unable to forgive.
  • Think about times that you have sought forgiveness and been denied. What can/should a person do in that situation?
  • Work through the concept of a role model. What attributes should a role model have? Do role models have to be perfect? Are their imperfections that make a person unforgivable and unfit to be a role model? Are certain imperfections "allowable?" Or is it not about being perfect, but how someone deals with their failings?

Discussion starters

  • How do you think Jon's relationship with Coach Jackson will change as a result of this incident? How should it change?
  • Even after Jon forgives his coach, do you think that their relationship will go back to being what it was?
  • Did the Coach have a right to privacy in his personal life? Did Jon have the right to expect him to be perfect all the time?
  • Is it okay for Coach Jackson to drink excessively because he legally can? Should adults engage in activities that they don't want kids to do? If there is a line between appropriate behaviors for adults and appropriate behaviors for kids? What is that line?
  • Why does Jon finally decide to try to forgive Coach Jackson?
  • If Jon had chosen not to forgive Coach Jackson, how would it affect Jon's relationship with himself?
  • Why is forgiveness important in families?
  • Why is forgiveness an important part of relationships between parents and kids? Why might a parent need to forgive a child? Why might a child need to forgive a parent?
  • How should a person ask for forgiveness?
  • How should you let an adult know when he/she has disappointed you? Should you always say something? If not, how do you know when to and when not to?
  • Are forgiving and forgetting the same thing? How are they similar? What makes them different? Does forgiving someone mean that you have to entirely forgive their wrongdoing?

Be sure to acknowledge the courage your children show in talking with you about these issues.

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