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MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 1, Issue 5

MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 1, Issue 5

May 13, 2002
Document
Topic: 
MAXIMize the Moment Junior
Age Range: 
8-10

Story

Trey's really cool. He's a couple of years older, but we're the only two kids on the street, so we end up hanging out together a lot. I love going over to his house. His mom is never around so we can play as many video games as we want, and eat a bunch of junk food, and we never are told to "Go play outside and enjoy the fresh air."

"Hey, Evan, I've been exploring. Look what I found," Trey says as he opens the door. Trey is holding an open pack of cigarettes. "Come on, Evan. Let's try a couple. My mom will never even notice that they're gone."

"I don't know, Trey. I don't want to take your mom's stuff. Plus, I don't think I'd like smoking. My uncle does it and it totally reeks."

"Evan, don't be such a chicken! It's not like our parents will ever find out or anything. Are you scared or something?"

I hate it when he pressures me to do stuff! He's my friend and all, but he can be pretty mean sometimes. I don't want to try smoking, but, if I don't he'll get mad at me and I won't have anyone to hang around with after school. What should I do?

Then I think some thing my Dad always says: "Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one." He reminds me that real friends like me for who I am and won't pressure me to do things I'm not comfortable with. If Trey's my friend, he won't make me smoke.

"No way, Trey. I don't want to try that stuff and get hooked. I'd end up like my Uncle Hal. He's got bad breath and yellow teeth and his face is all wrinkled like a prune. How nasty is that? Let's walk to the store and get some candy and have that instead."

This week's maxim is "Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one."  

Maxim

  • "Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one."
    Robert E. Lee

Character points

  • Genuineness - I have the courage to be myself, to honor my values, dream, and talents.
  • Self-respect - I make choices that have positive consequences because I know I am valuable and special.
  • Honesty - I am true to myself and allow others to know who I really am.
  • Integrity- My actions and decisions are guided by my values.
  • Courage- I do the right thing, even when it is difficult.
  • Responsibility - I live out my values and avoid making bad choices. I know what is expected of me by myself and others and I honor that.

Homeroom Discussion Information

  • Does this story seem realistic?
  • Does Trey really act like Evan's friend? Explain.
  • Do you think it is common for kids your age to feel pressure the way that Evan does?
  • Why is it so hard to say no when you are pressured by friends? What are some ways to avoid and/or overcome peer pressure?
  • What is positive peer pressure? What are some ways that you can be a positive influence on those around you? How do you turn negative peer pressure into positive peer pressure?
  • What do you think of the way Evan handles this situation?
    Is there a better way for him to respond? List some other approaches to combating negative peer pressure.
  • Why do some kids choose to smoke? Are those good reasons?
  • What are some reasons not to try smoking? Are those good reasons?
  • Evan decides that he had to say no in order to be true to himself. Why is it so important to be truthful with yourself? How does your ability to be honest with yourself affect your relationships?
  • Is Evan a good friend to Tony? Why or why not?
  • What about a person makes you want to be his/her friend? What traits are important in a friend?
  • Does being friends with someone mean that you never have disagree?
  • What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy disagreements?
  • What are some other situations that this week's maxim might apply to?

Home-Use Information

Five tips for maxim-izing your family time

  • Take this opportunity to let your children know how you feel about smoking.
  • If you smoke, your children are likely to ask why you feel it is appropriate for you to smoke, but not them. If you are trying to quit, take the opportunity to discuss, as a family, ways that they can help you with it. If you used to smoke but do not now, you may want to explain to your kids why you started, why you chose to stop, and what it was like trying to quit. If you have never been a smoker, explain to your kids why you said no initially and why you have continued to do so.
  • Think of a time that you caved in to peer pressure. Explain the situation. What were the results of your decision? What might you do differently if you had the chance to go back and change the past? Also, describe a time that you were able to remain true to yourself. Explain the situation, why your choice was difficult, and the positive consequences of your decision.
  • Explain how your ability to be honest with yourself has affected your relationships. Have you been in a relationship where one person was not honest with him/herself? What impact did that have on your relationship? Think of a healthy and uplifting relationship and explain how/why self-respect is essential.
  • Think of examples of friendships that you have had and how those people have helped or hurt you. Describe the relationships and have your kids talk through the good points and bad points of each.

Discussion starters

  • Describe a healthy friendship. What are some characteristics of a solid friendship?
  • Is it more difficult to confront a friend or someone that is not as important to you?
  • What about you makes you a good friend?
  • What is the most difficult part of friendship?
  • What is the best part of friendship?
  • Are their times when you should not support a friend's choices or actions?
  • What is the difference between being supportive of your friend and agreeing with everything he/she does?
  • What should you do if a friend is making a choice you disagree with?
  • What if your friend is making a dangerous choice?
  • If Trey continues to pressure Evan to do things he doesn't feel are right, Evan might choose to end the friendship. Is it ever appropriate to end a friendship?
  • How do you know when that time has come?
  • Why are self-respect and self-knowledge so important to relationships?
  • What are some problems that come from not showing your friends the real you?
  • If Evan had agreed to compromise his values just to impress Trey, what do you think their friendship would be like as time goes on?
  • Be sure to acknowledge the courage your children show in talking with you about these issues.

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