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MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 2, Issue 16

MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 2, Issue 16

January 16, 2003
Document
Topic: 
MAXIMize the Moment Junior
Age Range: 
8-10

Story

"Stewart, did you hit Taylor?" Mr. Lopez asks. After Stewart says yes, Mr. Lopez turns to me: "Taylor, did you hit Stewart?"

I try to explain. "I only did it because he hit me first."

Mr. Lopez stops me before I can finish explaining: "I didn't ask why you hit him," he says. "I only wanted to know if you did. Whatever the reason, you both threw punches and you'll both be punished. 'Two wrongs don't make a right.'"

I'm so angry that I don't even know what to say. I shouldn't be getting the same punishment as Stewart. It's not fair!

Mr. Lopez makes us call our parents. Even they don't take my side. Instead, they say the same thing Mr. Lopez just did-"Two wrongs don't make a right."

Later, I realize they do have a point. Fighting is fighting whether I'm the one who started it or not. Just because I was angry at Stewart didn't make it OK for me to hit him and the fact that he was mad at me didn't make it OK for him to hit me. Doing the wrong thing to get back at someone is still doing the wrong thing.

Next time, I'll remember that "Two wrongs don't make a right."

This week's maxim is "Two wrongs don't make a right."  

Maxim

  • "Two wrongs don't make a right."
    Cheales

Character points

  • Peace - I want to understand others; I try to find positive solutions to disagreements.
  • Consideration - I take the time to really think about an issue, rather than coming to a quick conclusion.
  • Patience - I take the time to make choices based on my beliefs and values.
  • Acceptance - I recognize and am patient with others when they express different views.
  • Reconciliation - I am willing to work at my relationships; I see difficulties as opportunities for growth.
  • Forgiveness - I am willing to look past the wrongdoings of others, so our relationships can move forward.

Homeroom Discussion Information

  • What are some ways of creating compromise?
  • How do you handle situations in which you really don't like another person?
  • What should you do if someone is being mean and picking on you?
  • Is "But he started it" a really good excuse for fighting? What is a more positive way of dealing with times that sometimes picks a fight with you?
  • What should you do if someone makes you really angry?
  • How can you calm a situation in which people are getting hot-tempered?
  • Do you agree with today's maxim?
  • What are some other situations/conflicts that it could apply to?

Home-Use Information

Five tips for maxim-izing your family time

  • Brainstorm ways to have a "good fight." Some suggestions are setting a time that all parties agree to, not using accusatory language, and using "I messages."
  • Model what it means to be a "good fighter." Work through conflicts, instead of ignoring them. Treat people with respect even when you are angry, hurt, or disappointed.
  • Discuss with your teen other issues that this week's maxim relates to. Think about how the mentality of the lowest common denominator affects ethics in school, business, sports, etc.
  • Ask your children to tell you about the problems that they face. Even if they say, "Everything's fine," keep asking. Try to get a sense of the stresses in their lives at school, on teams, at home, etc. Ask specific questions.
  • Be a good listener. Ask questions and wait for the answer before thinking of a response. Don't be afraid of pauses in the conversation. If you have to, discipline yourself by counting to ten before asking another question.

Discussion starters

  • Is conflict always bad?
  • How can conflict be a good thing?
  • When do conflicts become a problem?
  • How can you make arguments useful?
  • How can we, as a family, use conflict in a positive way?
  • Are conflict and anger the same thing? What is the difference?
  • Is anger always bad? When does it become a problem?
  • Are there ever times when fighting is justified and necessary? Why or why not?

Be sure to acknowledge the courage your children show in talking with you about these issues.

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