MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 2, Issue 21

February 10, 2003
Document
Ethical Value: 
Embarrassment
Ethical Value: 
Lying
Ethical Value: 
Black History Month
Ethical Value: 
Loyalty
Ethical Value: 
Excellence
Ethical Value: 
Integrity
Ethical Value: 
Forgiveness
Age Range: 
8-10

 

Story

"It's true. I swear!" I say.

"Sure. We believe you," Leo replies and then starts laughing. Everyone else laughs, too.

I feel awful. I decide not to say anything else for the rest of the day.

When I get home, my dad can tell I'm upset. He asks me what's wrong.

I tell him what happened: we were all talking and telling stories and stuff. I kept trying to my story, but Jake wouldn't let me say anything. I finally realized that the only way that I was going to get anyone to listen to me would be if I came up with a really good story. I didn't have anything that exciting to say, so I made something up. No big deal, right!

Wrong! Jake figured out that I was lying and told everyone. Now they won't believe a word I say. I wish I hadn't lied. It wasn't worth it.

My dad says, "There's an old proverb that I think fits this situation: 'One falsehood spoils a thousand truths.' You messed up and told a lie. You are an honest person, but you're aren't perfect-it's going to take a while before your friends trust you again."

"One falsehood spoils a thousand truths." That's really true. I made the choice to lie-and now I have to deal with that choice. Eventually, everything will get back to normal, but it's going to take time to rebuild trust. From now on, I'll remember that even one lie makes people disbelieve you. Like Dad said, "One falsehood spoils a thousand truths."

Maxim

  • "One falsehood spoils a thousand truths."
    Ashanti proverb

Character points

  • Integrity - I live out my values in a genuine way, so others can trust me and my promises.
  • Trustworthiness - I am honest and people can believe in my word.
  • Truthfulness - I am honest in my words and actions.
  • Honesty - I am truthful in both my words and my actions.
  • Forgiveness - I try to work through the faults and wrongdoings of others; I realize that all people are imperfect and I love them anyway.
  • Perseverance - Despite setbacks, I stay focused on the long term; I am patient and willing to give things time.

Homeroom Discussion Information

  • What does it mean to be an honest person?
  • Would you consider the narrator to be "honest?"
  • Does being honest mean you have to perfect?
  • What are the benefits of being a truthful person?
  • How important is it to you that your friends, teachers, parents, etc. are honest with you?
  • Do you agree with today's maxim? Why or why not?
  • Do you think that the narrator's friends are being too hard on him? Why or why not?
  • Is there anything the narrator can do to win back his friends' trust? Is time the only answer? What else could he try?
  • In the end, will his friendships ever be what they once were?
  • How might they be different? How might they actually be better than before all this happened?
  • Have you ever make a bad choice and regretted it? What did you do to make that situation better?

Home-Use Information

Five tips for maxim-izing your family time

  • Use concrete examples in your discussions to make your point. You may also choose to talk about an example from your life, a book, or a movie that illustrates this point. Let your kids know the making the difficult, but right, choice initially saves them the trouble of making harder decisions later.
  • Be real with your child; let him/her know that you, too, make mistakes and bad choices and that you have to deal with the consequences.
  • Ask your child how you can help him/her to make the right choice, even when it is difficult.
  • Let your child talk. Although it's important that he/she knows what you believe, it's also important that you are aware of how your child is feeling and that you get a sense of what he/she is going through.
  • Talk about friendships and how they involve up and down times. Then the story of a friendship that went through a difficult period, but endured. Talk about what you learned from the experience and the issues involved: How did that difficulty affect the friendship? Did it make it stronger in the end? How important is it that friends are able to forgive each other?

Discussion starters

  • The narrator has a problem because he lies to his friends. Do you think that the story would be really different if he had lied to a teacher instead? How?
  • What if he had lied to his parents? How would that have changed the story?
  • Do you think your friends or family members are more likely to forgive you when you mess up? Explain
  • The narrator lies to get attention. Do you think a lot of kids do that?
  • Are making up stories and telling lies good ways to get attention?
  • What are some better ways to "get heard" and be involved in conversations?
  • Let's say that Jake always has to be the center of attention. Is it fun to be friends with someone like that? Why or why not?
  • If one of your friend's is like that and you don't like it, is there a kind way that you can tell them to stop and let other people talk? How could you do that?
  • The narrator gets caught in his lie and has to deal with the problems it causes. Is fear of negative consequences (like your friends being mad at you) the best reason to avoid doing the wrong thing? Explain.
  • Let's say Jake didn't find out about the narrator's lie and he got away with it. Why might that still be a problem?
  • Why is it a bad idea to build friendships on lies? To lie to friends?

Be sure to acknowledge the courage your children show in talking with you about these issues.

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