MAXIMize the Moment Junior Volume 2, Issue 6

Story

"What was that for?" I ask as Carleigh throws another handful of water at me.

"Because it's fun, Amanda" she says, laughing. "What are you going to do about it? Go tell on me or get me back?"

Carleigh always starts things, but, this time, I'll finish them. With a smile on my face, I start scooping water from the faucet and tossing it in her direction. She gets me back and so I throw more. In just a little while, I can't even tell who's throwing what at whom. Suddenly, Carleigh's eyes get really big-which means Mrs. Lynde's standing behind me and just saw everything!

"Ladies, 'To enjoy freedom, we have to control ourselves.' You have not controlled yourselves, so you are going to lose some freedom. I let the two of you be bathroom buddies-even though I knew you were friends. From now on, though, I will be selecting your bathroom buddies. I want you to think about what you have done-the way you took advantage of my trust in you, the fact that someone could slip and hurt get hurt, the time it'll take to clean up all the mess. I want to know what you have learned from this experience and what you think would be fitting punishment."

Mrs. Lynde is right. I wish that I'd had more self-control and that I deserved more freedom. I wish that I had lived up to Mrs. Lynde's trust. I'm not sure what my punishment should be, but, next time, I will remember that to enjoy freedom, I must be able to control myself. 

Teacher Information

Maxim

• "To enjoy freedom, we have to control ourselves."
  Virginia Woolf

Featured character trait

• Self-control - I have the strength to make good choices-even if they seems less fun; I recognize that doing what is right is more important than doing what feels good right now.
• Character points (for substitution if this week's trait isn't one of your school's core values):
• Self-discipline - I am in control of myself and my desires. I recognize that I will sometimes have to sacrifice in the present in order to be true to myself and my values.
• Responsibility - I know which what I should do and what I should not do and my actions reflect that.
• Determination - I am willing to work, to try, to fail, and to continue in my endeavor to improve myself.
• Aspiration - I have goals and ideals which I work towards; I believe that I can become a better version of myself and I am willing to put forth the effort to make that a reality.

Discussion starters / journal writing prompts

• Does today's story seem like something that might happen at this school? Explain.
• Carleigh told Amanda that her only options were tattling or joining in. Do you think that's true?
• How else could Amanda have handled the situation? What should she have done?
• Mrs. Lynde lists a few of the problems that Carleigh and Amanda caused. What are other issues can you think of?
• Mrs. Lynde asks the girls to suggest an appropriate punishment. What do you think would be fair?
• Why do you think it is so hard to have self-control sometimes?
• Sometimes "being good" and having self-control seems to mean that you never get to have fun. What is faulty about that kind of thinking?
  Amanda quickly makes a decision and later regrets her choice. If she'd taken time to think things through, she might not have made that choice. Do you think most people are like Amanda-that they sometimes have trouble controlling themselves when they don't stop to think about the choices they are making?
• What are some ways that you can get into a habit of "looking before you leap" and thinking before you make decisions?

Related Links

• Teaching Self-Control
  http://www.teachersandfamilies.com/open/parent/control2.cfm
• Dealing with Conduct Problems by Teaching Self-Control
  http://www.theinvolvedfather.com/arts/arts_soc/a_soc_03.html
• About Discipline: Helping Children Develop Self-Control
  http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/discipline.html
• Art Activities for Exploring Self-Control
  http://humanityquest.com/topic/art_activities/index.asp?theme1=self-control

Extending the Conversation

Have groups of students list times it is hard to demonstrate self control. Also have them list some the freedoms you earn by having self-control and risk losing through a lack of self-control. Then, as a class, brainstorm strategies for developing or maintaining self-control. Encourage the students to use prompts such as counting to ten, taking deep breaths, etc.