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MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 12

MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 12

January 14, 2002
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MAXIMize the Moment

Now it's time to MAXIMize the Moment!

"David, did you do your homework?" Mrs. Smith asks she walks by my desk.

"No, Mrs. Smith. I didn't."

"David, you—of all people—can't afford to be missing assignments! What in the world are you thinking? Or, are you not thinking at all?!" Mrs. Smith exclaims. She's so loud that the whole class can hear.

I feel my cheeks getting warm as people start laughing. Others offer pitying smiles, which actually make me feel worse.

I really hate Mrs. Smith. Who does she think she is?!

For the rest of the class, I can't pay attention to anything that's happening. I'm too angry and humiliated to focus. Instead, I start plotting ways to get back at Mrs. Smith for yelling at me in front of everyone.

When I walk out of class, I'm still fuming.

Miss Kerr stops me in the hall.: "David, what's wrong? You don't seem like yourself."

"I got yelled at in front of everybody. I hate her and I hate that stupid class!"

"David, I'm sorry that you're feeling bad. But, is revenge really the best way to deal with this? You are going to be in that class for the rest of the year. Do you really want it to become an all-out war? 'You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.' Think on that a while. Let me know what you decide to do."

"You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist." What the heck does that mean?

Finally, I realize what Miss Kerr meant and I know what I have to do. I head back to Mrs. Smith's room.

Later, I go see Miss Kerr and tell her how things went: "I figured it out. I went to Mrs. Smith's room and talked things out. I said I was sorry for slacking in her class. And I let her know that I was upset that she embarrassed me. She apologized for getting mad at me in front of everyone. She told me I should be proud that I dealt with my anger in such a mature way. I actually think we're going to end up getting along a lot better from now on. I'm glad I learned that 'you cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.'"

This week's maxim is "You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist."

Teacher Information

Maxim

  • "You cannot shake hands with a closed fist."
    Indira Gandhi

Featured character trait

  • Patience — I take the time to make choices based on my beliefs and ideals.

Character points (for substitution if this week's trait isn't one of your school's core values)

  • Forgiveness — I am willing to look past the wrongdoings of others so our relationships can move forward.
  • Strength — I have the courage and character to make prudent decisions.
  • Understanding — I work to see situations from others' points of view and try to address all aspects of a problem.
  • Self-control — I make decisions based on my ideals; I do not let negative emotions overwhelm me.
  • Peace — I strive to create understanding; I work to diffuse conflicts, not exacerbate them.
  • Reconciliation — I am willing to work at my relationships; I see difficulties as opportunities for growth.

Discussion starters / journal writing prompts

  • List some other ways David might have dealt with the situation. What are the positive and negative aspects of each alternative?
  • Why was David's decision to go talk with Mrs. Smith such a good one?
  • How might his good choice in this situation benefit him as a student?
  • How could it benefit him in his perception of himself?
  • How might this lesson positively affect other relationships in his life?
  • David could have decided to let his anger and desire for revenge control him. What might have resulted if David had made the wrong choice instead?
  • If you find out that a friend of yours is very angry, how can you help him/her deal with that anger?
  • How can you tell when a friend's anger is something to be concerned about? If that situation arises, what should you do?
  • Have you ever been in a situation when you felt you were treated unfairly?
  • How did you handle that situation?
  • Do you think you handled it well or do wish you had addressed it differently? Explain your reasoning.
  • Let's assume Mrs. Smith was normally a kind and caring teacher. She was just having a very bad day. Could she have acted differently and avoided this situation altogether?
  • How do you feel when teachers let you know that they are having a difficult day? How do you react to those teachers?

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