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MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 17

MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 17

February 18, 2002
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MAXIMize the Moment

"Now it's time to MAXIMize the Moment!"

"You did pretty well on that test, Evan. Are you becoming some sort of brainiac on us?" says Trey. From the tone in his voice, it's clear that he's only half-kidding.

"It was no big deal," I reply, trying to downplay my success.

Trey continues in a mocking tone: "What a good boy you are! Have you been staying up late studying?"

Why does he care?

I have been working harder in school since Miss Coolican complimented me on my project. No teacher ever said anything that nice to me before, so it made an impact. It made me want to work harder. Is there anything wrong with that?

I guess, in Trey's mind, there is. He thinks that any guy who gets good grades must be some sort of loser. He says being a man is all about doing your own thing, living on your own terms. And part of that means not trying too hard in school.

Because he hasn't gotten a response from me, Trey tries to pick a fight: "So, Evan, are you getting' all Star Student on me or what?"

Suddenly, I remember back in third grade when my friend Jamal and I tried out for the select soccer team. I made it, but he didn't, and I worried that he was going be mad at me. My mom reminded me that true friends want the best for each other. She said that, "No person is your friend who… denies your right to grow," and encouraged me to have more faith in Jamal and in our friendship.

My mother's words apply here, too. If Trey is my friend, he should be happy for my success. If he can't be, there isn't much to our friendship because "No person is your friend who… denies your right to grow."

What can I say to Trey that will allow me to succeed without being harassed about it, that might even encourage him to put forth some effort in school? Then it comes to me.

"Trey, if you're worried that I'm going to leave you in the dust, you better start doing some work. You're up for a little friendly competition, aren't you?"

I hope Trey takes me up on my challenge-because I really do want the best for him..

This week's maxim is "No person is your friend who… denies your right to grow."

Teacher Information

Maxim

  • "No person is your friend who… denies your right to grow."
    Alice Walker

Featured character trait

  • Respect - I have expectations for myself; I work to the best of my abilities and recognize that I deserve to be treated with dignity.

Character points (for substitution if this week's trait isn't one of your school's core values)

  • Genuineness - I have the courage to be myself, to honor my values, dream, and talents.
  • Encouragement - I support others; I help others do the right thing and be the best version of themselves.
  • Aspiration - I try to improve; I acknowledge ways in which I need to grow and I accept the challenge to do so.
  • Supportive - I am of help to others; I aim to do what is best for them.
  • Motivation - I have the enthusiasm, energy, and self-discipline to make positive changes in my life.

Discussion starters / journal writing prompts

  • Does this scenario seem realistic?
  • What are some other situations when people are pressured not to do their best?
  • What do you think of the way Evan handles this situation?
  • Is there a better way for him to respond? List some other approaches to combating negative peer pressure.
  • What is positive peer pressure? What are some ways that you can be a positive influence on those around you? How do you turn negative peer pressure into positive peer pressure?
  • Is Evan a good friend to Tony? Why or why not?
  • What about a person makes you want to be his/her friend? What traits are important in a friend?
  • Does being friends with someone mean that you never have disputes?
  • What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict?
  • What does it mean to deny someone the right to grow? What behaviors fit in that category? What behaviors encourage growth in another person?

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