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MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 20

MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 20

March 11, 2002
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MAXIMize the Moment

Now it's time to MAXIMize the Moment!

"Maya, are you, OK?" I ask.

"Curtis and I just got into a little fight. I love him so much. I can't take the idea of him being mad at me."

Curtis overhears us and jumps into the conversation: "Well, then," he says, "you better stop flirting with other guys!" Then Curtis tells her they need to talk in private.

I know I shouldn't, but I listen at the door. Curtis is yelling and seems to be getting angrier and angrier. Maya begs him to calm down and apologizes over and over. Then there's a loud thud. "Now look what you made me do!" Curtis says, his voice full of rage. I quickly move away because I can hear him coming.

A few minutes later, Maya finds me and asks for a ride home. She has a bruise forming on her arm and she looks small and very sad. She doesn't talk on the way home and I have no idea what to say.

First thing Monday morning, I see Curtis and Maya walking down at hall together. It seems like nothing has happened.

Off and on, I had wondered if Curtis was ever rough with her, but I never knew for sure until Saturday night. I had no right to be at that doorway or hear what I did. I'm afraid to tell Maya what I've done, but I'm more afraid that he'll keep hurting her if someone doesn't step in. When I confront her, Maya is livid: "Claire, how dare you violate my privacy like that?! So what if Curtis gets a little jealous sometimes? It's only because he cares so much about me. Curtis felt really bad about what happened on Saturday. He even came to my house yesterday to apologize. You just don't understand because you don't know anything about love," she says and storms away.

That's not love, I think. As my mom would say, "In real love you want the other person's good." What Maya and Curtis have is not real love. He doesn't want the best for her and she's too blinded by the idea of having a boyfriend to see the truth.

So I have to do the loving thing.

That night, my mom and I drive over to Maya's house to talk with her mother. I know that Maya will be irate at my decision to tell her parents. She may even choose to never speak to me again,. But I love her enough to know that I have to do what is best for her-even if she doesn't agree on what that is. I wish love were about doing the easy thing, but it's not. "In real love you want the other person's good."

This week's maxim is "In real love you want the other person's good."

Teacher Information

Maxim

  • "In real love you want the other person's good."
    Margaret Anderson

Featured character trait

  • Love- I care about others and want what is best for them.
  • Character points (for substitution if this week's trait isn't one of your school's core values)
  • Caring- I am concerned about others and try to help when I am able.
  • Concern for others- Because I value people and love them, I want them to be treated with dignity and love.
  • Courage- I do the right thing, even when it is difficult.
  • Integrity- My actions and decisions are guided by my values.
  • Trustworthiness- People can have faith in me because I know what is right and live out my beliefs.

Discussion starters / journal writing prompts

  • Does Curtis want "the other person's good?" Explain how you know.
  • Does Claire act in a loving way? Explain.
  • Is Claire worthy of being trusted? Why or why not?
  • Do you agree with the way Claire handled the situation? What did she do well? What could/should she have done differently?
  • What else could Claire have done to help Maya?
  • Did Claire have to tell Maya's parents about Curtis's abuse?
  • How do you know when is the right time to tell an adult about a situation that's worrying you?
  • How do you decide who is the right person to go to for help?
  • Maya was unable to see that her relationship with Curtis was out of control and dangerous. What are some warning signs that let you know when a situation is problematic?
  • What should you do when you sense a relationship is getting out of hand?

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