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MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 28

MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 28

May 6, 2002
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MAXIMize the Moment

Now it's time to MAXIMize the Moment!

I rush into the cafeteria to tell my best friend, Jessica, my news.

"Jessica, Brent Johnson wants to get to know me better!"

Jessica can hardly believe it: "Brent Johnson? Captain of the soccer team, class president, incredibly good looking, could hardly know you're alive. THAT Brent Johnson?!" she asks in total shock.

"That's the one," I tell her "Except, of course, the part about not knowing I'm alive! Today he starts talking to me and saying that he wants to get to know me better and everything. He even asked me to get out of sixth period and meet him so we could talk."

When Jessica's boyfriend, Jake, hears that, he starts laughing, and makes an obscene gesture which implies that my time with Brent won't involve talking. Most of the other people in the group start laughing.

"Don't worry, Amber," Jessica tells me, "You're going to have to learn how to do it eventually and, at least you might get a boyfriend out of the deal. Really, it's not that bad."

"No, it isn't bad at all!" Jake says, laughing harder than ever. A bunch of the other guys at the table think Jake's joke is hilarious. I can tell that some of them are laughing so that they'll seem experienced, too.

Kelly, my friend who only dates older guys, chimes in: "Really, Amber. It's a skill worth having. Once you're mastered it, you'll be controlling him, rather than the other way around."

The bell rings and we all head out to class. I still don't know what to do. I never thought I'd have to worry about all this stuff until I was dating someone I really loved. It doesn't seem right. What if Brent's just using me? Could I get a disease or something? Maybe I'm just being uptight. I'm going to have to deal with this eventually. And I don't want risk losing Brent.

Tony, my friend who's had a crush on me for as long as I can remember, seems to read my mind. On the way out the door, he pulls me aside and reminds me, "Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one."

I know he's right. It's the same thing my mother always says. Real friends encourage you to be your best, not compromise your values.

And all of this is a question of values. What's most important to me: going along with my friends, getting Brent to like me, being true to myself, living out my beliefs? I wish I knew… What am I going to do?

This week's maxim is "Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one."

Teacher Information

Maxim

  • "Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or keep one."
    Robert E. Lee

Featured character trait

  • Respect - I make healthy choices because I know my innate value.

Character points (for substitution if this week's trait isn't one of your school's core values)

  • Genuineness - I have the courage to be myself, to honor my values, dream, and talents.
  • Honesty - I am true to myself and allow others to know who I really am.
  • Integrity- My actions and decisions are guided by my values.
  • Fortitude - I have the strength to live by my convictions.
  • Courage- I am willing to do what is difficult.

Discussion starters / journal writing prompts

  • Does this week's story seem realistic?
  • Is there anyone in the story who really acts like Amber's friend? How?
  • Is there anyone in the story who has a respectful attitude towards the opposite sex? Explain.
  • What are some of the risks Amber faces is Brent propositions her and she agrees? What are the risks if she says "no?" Which set of concerns is more serious?
  • What if Brent wants something "less than sex"? What are the potential consequences of that?
  • Do you think it is common for teenagers to feel pressure the way that Amber does?
  • Do you think most teens make decisions about sex and sexual activity based on their own values? What other factors strongly influence the decision to engage or not to engage in sexual activities?
  • If Amber chooses to engage in sexual activity, but not have sex with Brent, what are the physical risks for her? What are the emotional risks?
  • What's the difference between a friend and a boyfriend or girlfriend? Does the maxim apply more or less if it's someone you're romantically interested in?
  • What are some other situations that this week's maxim might apply to?

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