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MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 30

MAXIMize the Moment Volume 1, Issue 30

May 20, 2002
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MAXIMize the Moment

Now it's time to MAXIMize the Moment!

Todd looks deeply into my eyes, and says, "Really, Kim, it's not you. It's me."

I'm stunned: "You're breaking up with me! How can this be happening? Our eight-month anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks. I thought we'd be together forever."

After he leaves, I call my best friend, Tai. She' has a really hard time hearing me because she's at a party. I could be at that party, surrounded by friends, maybe even having fun-if I hadn't chosen to spend a quiet night with Todd.

Tai comes right over. It takes me a while to tell her everything because I'm sobbing and starting to hyperventilate. "Tai, I can't believe he'd do this to me. We've been together almost all year. How will I ever find someone like him again? What am I going to do?"

"Kim, you'll be fine," Tai says somewhat abruptly. "You always are. You didn't think you'd ever get over Chad and you did. And Liam. And Michael. And Keith. And all of the other guys before them."

Ouch! "Tai, what does that mean?!" I ask.

"Kim, you're my friend so I'm going to be honest with you. As long as I've known you, I can't think of a time when you weren't obsessed with some guy you wanted to date, or were dating, or who'd broken your heart and ruined your life. When you started dating Todd, you dropped the rest of us. And he wasn't even that nice to you. But you couldn't see that. Is having a boyfriend really that important to you? At some point in your life, you're going to need to be able to be alone. I'm sorry that Todd hurt you. I really am. But this may be the best thing that's ever happened to you. You can finally find out who you are. You're a lot more than just some guy's girlfriend."

I'm so livid at Tai that I could hit her. How could she be so mean at a time like this? She's so callous. And, as much as I hate to admit it, she may be right. Maybe I should be by myself for a while. I don't want to, but maybe it would be good for me.

This week's maxim is, "Be able to be alone."

Teacher Information

Maxim

  • "Be able to be alone."
    Thomas Browne

Featured character trait

  • Independence-I am comfortable with myself; I know when to rely on others, but am self-sufficient as well.

Character points (for substitution if this week's trait isn't one of your school's core values)

  • Confidence-I know my talents and abilities; I feel good about myself.
  • Self-respect-I know I am a worthwhile person and that I deserve to be treated with dignity.
  • Strength-I have faith in myself and my abilities.
  • Friendship-I maintain meaningful relationships by supporting and trusting others.
  • Patience - I take the time to make choices based on my beliefs and ideals.

Discussion starters / journal writing prompts

  • Does this scenario seem realistic?
  • Do you know someone who acts like Kim? How do you feel about it?
  • If your friend started pushing everyone except her boyfriend away, how would you deal with it? How would you help a friend who had started to compromise her interests for someone else?
  • What would you do if your friend started to compromise her values just to please her boyfriend?
  • Do a lot of teenagers fear being single?
  • Is this only a problem for girls?
  • List some dangers of having to always be dating someone.
  • What's the advantage of being alone?
  • How does being alone eventually benefit being with others?
  • Do you agree with this week's maxim? Why or why not?
  • Could this week's maxim apply more generally? Do you think it is important for a person to be able to be secure even when his/her friends and family are not around? Why or why not?

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